I’m sorry if this makes you barf. I can’t think of any sane reason to write about roaches (on purpose) UNLESS it’s a treatise asking God why they’re here in abundance. With superpowers. Making everyone cringe. I mean, seriously. Want world peace? Throw a bunch of flying roaches in a small room at the UN. They’ll stop arguing about Palestine to help each other on chairs. Throw each other books to swat with. You’d never see man unite so quickly for the common good.

(But I digress).

So anyway, I hate them. HATE THEM. Their stillness on a wall and waving antennae cause involuntary spine squiggles that typically results in me having to pee. Just writing this makes me twitch. So here’s my point: We discovered the best solution ever to keep them AWAY. And you don’t need poison or any other smelly chemicals. I need to point out we don’t have a roach problem. But we DO live in an old wooden house in Central Texas, which is a recipe for my own personal hell after it rains. Or when it’s humid. Or super hot. With me so far?

Here’s what you do:

1. Grab a straight edged cup or bowl. Nothing with a curve or handle.

2. Coat the ENTIRE inside with butter. Or bacon fat. Or grease. (Use your finger) Get it nice and slippery.

3. Fill the bottom with an inch or two of water. Don’t fill it so high that they can get out.

4. Place bowl wherever you catch them. (kitchens & bathrooms, usually.)

They smell the grease, climb in, and drown. It’s very simple. Proof? The first time we did it we caught 3. The second time we did it we caught a few more. The last time we did it, we left town for the weekend and came home to THIS:

See that bastard trying to climb out?? How freaking gross is THAT!!!! I about DIED.

Yea. That.

But that last trap did the trick. We haven’t seen OR caught any since then, which was weeks ago. Those clever little nasties warned their friends to stay away! Ha!

So feel free to spread the word. I take no credit for this ‘invention,’ but I’m here to swear it works. And it’s free. And you don’t need nasty chemicals. Good for the earth, bad for roaches, we ALL WIN!

Have a lovely evening.

love,

Jennifer