You know what’s awesome? Good leadership. When you present someone with a problem and they fix it.
And Senator Ted Cruz — get this— high tailed it to CAN fucking CÚN to sip piña coladas with his family while his constituents literally freeze in their homes.
I hobbled to the bathroom, pulled the trashcan in front of me and rest my cold, sweating head on the cool porcelain sink praying for it to be over soon.
Waiting for Trump to leave the White House is like waiting for ibuprofen to kick in when you have period cramps.
If you told me yesterday I’d poop the bed today I wouldn’t have believed you.
Dear (Agent): In late 2020, a gentle, androgynous voice bloomed in my conscience. The days. Write it all down. Manuscript. If you knew my long history with this voice, you’d know why I paused. Words filled my headspace like expanding balloons, and I batted them away, defensive and confused. Manuscript? I had at least 3 …
In 1st grade, I got a zero on a math test. A ZERO. We were doing these things: 3 > 1 6<7 10>8 and I got every answer wrong. All 25 questions. Wrong. My teacher circled a big, red F at the top of the page and never readdressed it with me, which really, was …
My tiny dancer suddenly gave me jazz hands.
Foodies, hide your boners.
I got straight As that semester.
I also got arrested.