This entry is a continuation from His Own Funeral Part 1, which you can read here.
So where were we?
Yes. The Funeral.
As soon as I walked in the sanctuary I felt Spirit, and it felt very, very good. And just so you know, I use the word ‘Spirit’ when referring to the presence of dead people. Spirit can feel really, really amazing or really really (terribly) bad. Spirit feels so good sometimes I confuse them with angels, whom have their own special category. The way I know for sure they’re Angels vs. Spirit is that angels are accompanied by little flashes or sparkles of light. But we’ll get into that later.
Also, me saying “there’s Spirit in the room” is very general because I don’t know if there’s one or a hundred of them. I just know something’s there. I assume the stronger the feeling, the more of them there are, but that’s not always the case. I get details like male/female, name and physicality only if they want me too or I try really hard to “tap in”.
Clear as mud?
So I walked down the narrow aisle noticing Diana and her family in the first few pews on the left hand side. I took a seat across the aisle from them and sat in silence, wondering why it felt so dang good in there. Communicating with the Other Side was the last thing on my mind so Larry had to try a few different things to get my attention.
I watched people filling the pews. They sniffed discreetly, dabbing their eyes while contemporary Christian music played overhead. Folks lined up to hug Diana, and I watched their mouths moving, whispering sympathies. It was like some strange video, because with me a delicious euphoria was seeping in, filling up my psyche and energizing my cells. When I am SUPER tapped in, this happens. And it was totally happening. I closed my eyes, rather enjoying myself in the grief filled space. I think I even smiled.
And then he appeared.
Behind my closed eyes.
Just so you know, clairvoyance isn’t just closing your eyes and imagining something. It’s not like looking at a picture where the image is flat and clear. (Well maybe it is for some people) but for me it’s like the negative of a photograph, but in 3-D. It’s outlines and silhouettes. And behind closed eyes I clearly ‘saw’ the outline of a man wearing a brown shirt and he was trying to get my attention. I thought to myself, not now. Please not now. Twas not the time nor place—but Mr. Brown shirt was pushy.
He started flashing images at me.
Palm trees. Cigar. Laughter.
Warm feelings of perfect love spread over me.
Intense laughter. Smoke shooting out someone’s nose. A kiss.
I opened my eyes and looked at Diana, feeling absolutely DRUNK with love. And then I saw him again, this time outside myself. He was standing behind her. And I’d never seen anything like him. Even by ghostly standards this is hard to describe, but I’ll try.
Imagine a completely invisible man (i.e. nothing at all I guess.)
Now imagine that invisible man covered in clear gel.
This is the best I could find:
His outline was faint, but his very slight movements created blurry breaks in the atmosphere that allowed me to see his hands on her shoulders. And it was definitely a he and not a she; I distinguish male and female energy with my eyes closed the same way your eyeballs know the difference between day and night. But I still didn’t know who this was and had NO clue what the palm tree/cigar thing was about. I just prayed I didn’t look like a total nut job staring wide-eyed at the space behind her while some ghost whispered random crap at me.
Please know this was a totally weird experience…. even for me. Sure I see dead folk a lot, but they’re typically fleeting. And I see them for a flash, as they were on earth, often in motion. Half the time they disappear so quickly I wonder if I made the whole thing up. But this guy was hanging out. We had mutual awareness of each other and I knew he had something to say. And because I knew he was from a good place, I took it a step further and closed my eyes.
“Who are you and what do you want me to do?” I asked silently.
A different man’s picture flashed behind my closed eyes. It was literally a picture of a man’s head…his profile actually. He had shoulder length wavy hair and his outline looked familiar.
“What’s the message?” I asked in my brain voice, acknowledging the picture.
The image got bolder and I knew who it was.
“Tell her I’m with Jesus.”
I opened my eyes.
I remember gripping the pew to stabilize myself because I nearly slumped over. You must know it’s really hard for someone like me to subscribe to organized religion. I have a ton of faith and swear by prayer but I find it difficult to believe that God favors one people over another. I’m not sharing this to spark some religious debate so please spare me this in the comments. I’m just saying this experience was in NO WAY a reflection of my personal beliefs at the time; Jesus flashing in front of my eyes was no psychosomatic assumption based on my own perceptions of Heaven. Got me?
But Larry was VERY clear. He wanted me to tell Diana he was with Jesus and she looked at me right at that moment. I had no choice.
“Larry is here,” I mouthed. I still couldn’t believe it. She was going to flip.
Her forehead wrinkled. She had no clue what I was saying.
“Laarrry is heerre,” I tried again, moving my lips as discreetly as possible.
She shook her head, her lips forming a “what?”
“Laaarrryyyy is HEEERREE,” I mouthed, my finger pointing urgently to the space behind her.
“Larry’s here?!?” she gasped.
(Yes. She actually said this out loud and I about died.)
…and I’m realizing how long this is getting. So I will finish later. Oh, and this is very close to the image he showed me:
Please hang with me. The end of this story is SO worth it.