Jesus for Breakfast

I am stupid tired. Again. This is like my 8th night of interrupted sleep and I’m a little irritated . . . okay, a lot irritated.

Usually it’s my idiot neighbors waking me up. They’re under 25, work in bars, and I curse their vampire hours! Typically they’re leaving the house as I stack my pillows just right and I close my eyes knowing they’ll return at 3am with more drunk people and crap music blaring from their open windows. They’ll SLAM car doors shouting “Dude!” to one another across the road (read: IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE) and that’s what wakes me up. They’ll party inside until puke-thirty then wake me up again as they “Dude!” each other goodbye before screeching away in their Acuras. By this time I’m seething… hoping a violent case of dysentery swoops through their den of iniquity and leaves them all trembling.


And if it’s not them it’s a pair of raccoons tap dancing on my damn roof. I don’t know why every furry night vermin likes to hang at my house! I hear them pattering on the roof and I torture myself with visions of them crawling in the attic, chewing holes through the ductwork and laying steamy poops in there to poison us all.

And if it’s not the raccoons it’s me being too hot.

And if I’m not too hot I have to pee.

And if I don’t have to pee it’s a miracle.

I HATE being a light sleeper. HATE it. A fly farts in the next room and I’m up. And last night was no different. But this time it was my husband’s fault though I can’t be mad at him poor thing…Christopher is very allergic to cedar and a recent drive through Bastrop ( read: burning Cedar trees) messed him up real good.

“Go use the Neti Pot!” I elbowed him at midnight.

He shuffled to the bathroom making baby piglet noises….and I guess some of that Neti salt got in his belly cause a few minutes later he was running to the bathroom with a different problem.

But let’s get back to Jesus.

So Christopher falls in bed,  lays there panting…. I reach out and rest my palm on his back because I have a rather handy ability to take away headaches, cramps, and other minor maladies. I never tried to fix allergies but it was worth a try. But then Jesus popped in my mind. Here’s why:

I have this deck of cards called Ascended Masters Oracle Cards. Here’s what the box looks like:

…it’s kinda like tarot in that you flip cards for a message, but all the cards have pictures of ascended masters like St. Francis, Buddha, Mother Mary, and Jesus.

So instead of cards like this from a tarot deck:

the Ascended Master cards look like this:

They say little positive messages at the top, and I pulled the Jesus card four times last week! The message on the Jesus card says: Open Your Heart to Love and that popped in my head while trying to comfort my wheezing husband. So I closed my eyes and prayed.

Hi Jesus, you heal people, right? Please help Christopher feel better and please fix our A/C cause I set it on 70 and I know it’s not 70 in here. Amen. Oh, and thank you for popping through 4 times in my cards. I know that’s significant and I’d love to hear from you. Thank you, and Amen again.

Well, wouldn’t you know it? A lovely calm spread across my chest, down my arm, and through my fingertips. A silent peace filled the room. I was wide awake, my eyes were closed, and I was smiling. Man it feels good when Divinity visits! And you know how I know it was real? Those Acura driving turkeys got home just then and I didn’t even care. Some corner of my brain told me to get mad but the presence of pure Love really does block everything else out.

So here’s the cool part.

This morning I got out of bed grumpy as hell. I barked at everything with a heartbeat, got ready, then walked to the kitchen where my children cowered at the table. Harvey had made himself breakfast and this child has never offered me a bite of his cereal. Not until today.

“Here Mommy,” he held his spoon forward, “this bite’s for you.”
I looked at the spoon. One little Lucky Charm floated solo in the milk.

Now I’m not saying….

….but I’m just sayin’.

When’s the last time you knew your prayers were heard? What happened?

8 thoughts on “Jesus for Breakfast

  1. Bari Pistone

    Tuesday morning around 6:30, I prayed to God and asked him to also send AA Michael because there was a faded big black cloud, blob misty thing hanging out in my bedroom just to the left of my husband’s side of the bed almost to the ceiling that I could not get to go away. I had watched it for about 15 minutes before I got up and tryed to swoosh it away, so I went to the restroom, got back in bed and started praying. In just a few seconds, I watched it slowly dissapate. Thank you Father for answered prayers.


  2. Nedra

    I love it when you tell stories like that. Makes me feel all tingley. And no it’s not the wine as it’s only my first glass! I knew my prayers were answered when the baby girl I had been praying for was born.


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