SHELF LIFE: My Pandemic Diary: February 18, 19 & 20, 2021

And Senator Ted Cruz — get this— high tailed it to CAN fucking CÚN to sip piña coladas with his family while his constituents literally freeze in their homes.

Beryl’s Chicken Diary. (End)

(This is the last entry!!) Read from the beginning HERE. .........................   DAY NINETEEN 100% chance.   It rained all night. All morning. All afternoon. And it’s still raining. Passing cars splash baby tidal waves and rain gutters pour waterfalls. You know the sound. The girls are huddled together, dry under the porch awning, waiting it out. …

Continue reading Beryl’s Chicken Diary. (End)

Beryl’s Chicken Diary. (5)

Read from the beginning HERE. .........   DAY NINE Jennifer’s poor choices The humans have a girl hatchling, Sophia. She has very busy hands and hair like a bird’s nest. Everyday she sprays me with oil of the tea trees.  She also taps my torn comb with a delicate contraption called a Q-tip. I enjoy her …

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Beryl’s Chicken Diary. (2)

Read from the beginning HERE. ..........   DAY THREE hunger   They tried to make me eat today. I can’t eat. I can barely hold my head up. Please just leave me alone.   DAY FOUR yesterday and today   Sorry for the dramatics yesterday. I was in terrible pain. Maybe I should tell you …

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Beryl’s Chicken Diary. (1)

I don’t think she’s gonna make it. ---overheard.   DAY ONE pain   My name is Beryl. I am a lady chicken. And today is the worst day of my life. Yesterday I lived in the yard with Wanda, Missus Jenkins, and my twin sister Babs. Today I woke up in a bathtub, and I …

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A Chicken Called Wanda.

Have you ever heard a chicken in distress? It sounds like a newborn pig being clawed to death. Go ahead and imagine that for a sec.  Got it? That's what I woke to 12 hours ago. It sounded like this: Heeeeeelll heeeeeellll squeeeeeeeeee  I felt it in my guts. So my eyes popped open. Really. A very upsetting sound. …

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A Case for Reincarnation.

Time? 1991. I'm 13. Maybe 14. Driving across country with the fam. Sprawled on the backseat of our Dodge Caravan with my yellow Sony Walkman, listening to Billy Joel's Greatest Hits, staring at the dome light. Wishing I was tan. Pretty. Better at math. Hoping Virginia doesn't suck. Really, this was the extent of my concerns. But something was about …

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Residual Energy: Beneath a London Pub.

One of my weirdest run-ins with the Other Side happened in London, 2000. I still don't know how to classify it. Nothing like it's happened since. What makes it super odd is that the SAME thing happened to my mom when she visited in early 2001. In the exact same spot. A whole year later. And I …

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Blindfolds and Weiner Jokes: BOOK LAB UPDATE

Um. Ya. Careful posting yourself blindfolded on the internet with "weiner" in the title. ---that's all I'm gonna say about that. Thanks for all the traffic, though. I sincerely hope the blindfold 'enthusiasts' come back to read the *ahem* happy ending. (Sorry.) The nerd in me conjured up a book experiment. I wanted to see …

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